Tuesday, May 22, 2007
10:04:00 AM CDT
Feeling Happy
Hearing Martha Stewart talk down to her TV show guest
Hello, Tracy,
My name is Schmourtney* (name changed to protect the addicted) and I can't get enough of your blog. When I wake up during the work week I have one thing on my mind that motivates me to haul my butt out of bed and trudge through the world we all know as furniture land: money. Of course it's money, duh! I'm not totally stupid. While it's money (and personal/professional fulfillment...wink, wink) that gets me to work, it's your blog that gets me through the day. Oh! How I laugh at you!!! It's my daily affirmation that, yes, someone else's life does, at times, bite worse than my own. Oh! The pleasure that gives me...and my co-workers. I can't help but share your woes with those around me.
Tracy, I have a problem. Yes, it's serious. I would not be writing unless it was a biggee. You see, I've been cut off at work. They've found me out. Your blog url has been blocked! DOH!!! What am I going to do without my daily dose of vicarious sarcasm? I'm already starting to see signs of withdraw. I keep clicking on your bookmark knowing that I will see those ill fated words "forbidden website" pop up on the screen but I can't help myself. I ask others if they can get to the link on their own work computers. I find myself wondering "When last we left off our heroine was on the brink of setting a mouse free in her housemate's room just to torment the rude roomie....what's going to happen next??? I neeeeed to knooooowwww!" So, Tracy, as you can see, I am in a serious pickle.
Blogless in Nashville,
Schmourtney
Dear Schmourtney*,
Yes, you do have a problem! The first step in the healing process is acknowledging the problem. Obviously, you have done that. You have hit the nail right on the head. The bigger problem to the original problem is how are we going to fix it? My first piece of advice would be to schmooze the IT people so they quit blocking my blog. That is the easiest, quickest path to correcting the problem of my site being blocked. It might cost you a few lunches, but that's a small price to pay for the side-splitting laughs that my life brings to your day. If that does not work, you might have to get more drastic in your measures. Yes, you might just have to churn out some work. Lots of it. So much that the account execs can't keep up with you. They will start uproariously complaining that you are too responsive and then the pressure will be on them to go out and get more business. See how this is working? You've diverted attention and caused a new problem. That's when you swing in and say, " none of this would have happened if you wouldn't have blocked Tracy's blog site." HA! Take that!
Truth, Justice, and Wasting Time on the Internet at Work,
Tracy
This entry has 4 comments:
#4 Comment from ssflener
5/22/07 2:19 PM
You could always freeze her bra! or hang a bucket of chocolate syrup over her door with a string attached to the door knob and yell fire or brownies with x-lax!I like to pour ice water over the shower curtain when Sam's in the shower.
#3 Comment from kp627
5/22/07 1:28 PM
Even better idea!!!! Why should a poor mouse suffer?
#2 Comment from tracypace
5/22/07 11:49 AM
I've been thinking about the mouse idea. I like it, but the guilt of setting an innocent rodent free in Gabby's room only to meet a fate of death weighs heavily on my conscience. So, I'm leaning more toward lacing her bottle of Scope with Metamucil, or sending in a farm of roaches or biting ants. Giving her the screaming trots would make me laugh!!!!!!!! Making her crazy with creepy crawlies would give me the satisfaction of grating her nerves just like she has grated mine. What to do...what to do???
#1 Comment from kp627
5/22/07 11:43 AM
Alright, I have to admit that I, too, have to my daily dose of Tracy's blog. But, then, I'm her big sister. I'm living vicariously through her, too.Little sister, give credit where credit is due. I'm the devious one who thought to let a mouse (or other critter) loose under the door of your obnoxious housemate!
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